In the light of brexit, with lowercase “B”, of a very weak sterling (Pound), of endless queues of English impatient patients, Geordies, Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irelanders in airports across Europe waiting to get their passports stamped, of the end of bargain flights from the UK, of rising prices for cooking oil, sprayed weed and crap cocaine, these are the 10 unmissable adventures if it’s your first time in London.
One thing though: drop the fucking wellies (mud boots)! You’re visiting London, not a pig farm in the countryside… Most probably it will not rain and you’ll have no class whatsoever. You’ll look ridiculous in one of the most wonderful cities in the world.
1. Hutong and Sky Garden
Hutong
Dine and drink in outstanding luxury on top of London in Hutong at The Shard, the highest building of London’s skyline. Built at the 33rd floor of the building, there are few restaurants in the world that can give you a better feeling. Everything comes at a price though. Prepare to pay around £50 for three drinks. It is worth the money! I’ll give you a priceless tip: go to men’s bathroom for a good thrill. You’ll love it!
Sky Garden
The luxurious three storey gardens on top of London will definitely make you fall in love with the city and what it has to offer. Located at 20 Fenchurch street in one of the tallest glass buildings of the city, shaped as a dome and named the “Walkie-Talkie”, it hosts amazing restaurants in a jungle like environment with real plants and trees and a long balcony from where you can admire the southern bank of London. The only inconvenient is that you have to book in advance from here. Fun fact: after the building was finished the architects did not think that the curved shape of the structure would reflect sun’s rays right onto the cars parked on the adjacent streets and soon that reflexion melted some really expensive vehicles. To avoid that in the future they installed panels on the side of the building to avoid the rays going the wrong way.
2. Theatre
There was a time when yPlan app had amazing offers and gave you some of the best seats in the house for theatre and other high end events, but after disturbing the big Time Out London and a £30 Million investment, it’s been forced out of the market and bought by the giant fish for, wait for it, £3 Million! Oh, the horror of doing ethical business in a world of wolves…
Anyway, theatre in London is a must! Buy tickets in advance for better deals.
3. Eat a gourmet burger
I now think London has some of the best burger places and burgers in the world. That is if you know where to go. I am dying a bit every day I see tourists or anyone for that matter eating the poison from the burger chains we all know and actually hate. With a burger culture and so many gourmet burger restaurants, you have to be a fool not to eat from them. For one of your best burger experiences, I can guarantee that, go to Patty & Bun and order their outstanding Smokey Robinson with Rosemary and Sea Salt Chips, or ask them what they have as special of the day. Sometimes the special is even better than Smokey Robinson.
4. Houses of Parliament & Big Ben
If you visit before 2020 you be disappointed to find out that Big Ben is out of order for critical maintenance and is surrounded by scaffolding. If you dream at that perfect photo with the famous clock in the background you’ll have to wait for little over a year.
The Parliament buildings are fine and can be visited. This is also a highlight of your visit considering their outstanding architecture and the history we all know about. Book in advance here.
5. Party like an animal in Camden, Shoreditch, Clapham, Brixton, Soho, Covent Garden
If you come to London and don’t plan to party you are soooo boring!!! This amazing city offers a complete experience for everyone, from jazz festivals and events in Soho, Camden, or Shoreditch, to electronic music festivals and parties that happen all year round and in different parts of the city. The above areas are the biggest if you plan to go wild. They all burst with amazing restaurants and venues. For the more elevated, enjoy a Prom during summer at the Royal Albert Hall in Kensington, or the Royal Opera House. Maybe the Cadogan Hall too? Fancy a movie Premiere in Leicester Square? You’ve got everything right there. Just be aware and choose wisely. London can also offer some of the worst party experiences of your life, especially when it comes to hygiene. Sticky floors in a pub is normal in London. I wouldn’t visit places like that if I were you.
6. Thorpe park
Roughly one hour drive from central London this amusement park is the closest to the city and an amazing experience, if you’re a fan. For a whole day you pay little under £50 and if you think you’ll visit again in less than a year, you can turn your pass into a yearly one. Book online to avoid spending hours in the queue. I tried Saw four times! Try Colossus at the end, you’ll thank me later… 😉 Book here.
7. Dine in a high end restaurant
With so many options, you really have to not love your life if you avoid paying more for actually living. You don’t have to do it every day, you know. And in London you’ll be surprised how many amazing restaurants are not as expensive as you might think. Good food and drinks always deserve your attention. What and where you eat says a lot about you. Go and treat your body like it’s yours and take this city in.
“Best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive.”
Coco Chanel
8. Hit a club or venue
No matter your style, if you like music or not (what kind of human are you, by the way?!), you have to visit at least one of London’s best venues. Book tickets in advance and live. Check out this amazing Ibiza Classics concert with live orchestra at the O2 Arena:
9.Visit the parks
From parks with wild animals eating from your hand in central London, or high numbers of deer, to parks with waterfalls, London has some of the most impressive urban parks in the world. Although this city is becoming more and more crowded and polluted with each day, just imagine if they did not keep the parks and greenery alive… For your first visit you have to see Hyde Park and Richmond Park (a huge park with herds of wild deer).
10. Buckingham Palace
Probably the most famous Palace in the world, it’s history says it all. I would recommend you visit this jewel of British architecture and domination. You’ll be able to go through the palace chambers, the garden inside the walls, you can even see the queen’s vintage car, and at the end you can chill while eating and drinking something in the palace’s restaurant overseeing the gardens. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the queen’s lair! Book tickets here.
Travel yourself to life!
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